“LOVE AND COMPASSION ARE NECESSITIES. WITHOUT THEM, HUMANITY CANNOT SURVIVE.” ~DALAI LAMA.
Young or old, rich, or poor, many of us will experience a longing for social contact at some point in our lives. But the unbearable loneliness of being alone doesn't have to be inevitable. Humans are an incredibly social species. We need numerous relationships to keep ourselves active and to make our lives meaningful.
Our social interactions are a huge factor in how we think, act, and see ourselves, because much of our brain is dedicated to social cognition. Basically, human well being depends on interpersonal interactions and relationships.
What is our role in this contemporary World?
As an Oblate or a member of the Volunteers of God, we must step out of our inner circle to better identify people who need a confident listener. Empathetic listening builds mutual understanding and trust. People should feel confident, empowered, peaceful, and touched with compassion through our interactions.
In the Gospel, we see the interaction of Mother Mary with her cousin, Elizabeth, when she was in need (Lk 1, 39-45). Mary's presence consoled, strengthened, and, therefore, made Elizabeth stronger. Sometimes people need our presence. Sometimes they want someone who is an empathetic listener to be able to heartily embrace their suffering. If they come to think that their life has no meaning, at the end of our listening intervention, they will be able to feel happy and see their life as worth living. It's a great thing to save a life and make that life meaningful.
Once, I met a boy in a training program who had no mother. Being the youngest in the family, he was very much attached to his mother. A few years after his mother’s death, the boy fell in love with a girl. He wanted to marry her, but the girl’s family did not approve. They wanted the girl to marry another boy. The girl didn’t want to disobey her parents. She agreed to her parent’s pre-arranged marriage. Her exboyfriend had loved her very much and, therefore, was very disappointed and discouraged with life. He remained alone and aloof thinking about the girl. He seemed to be mentally upset.
One evening I took time to speak with him. I just started a conversation. Firstly, I told him how I appreciated his presentation during the seminar. Then I asked about his family. He started to speak with me. I kept listening, empathetically, to him. He spoke about his mother and her love towards him. The death of his mother had affected him badly. I sympathized with him and tried to console him. Then he started to share his feelings about the love he felt for his girlfriend He spoke about her for more than an hour. I just listened to him. He started crying.
Finally, I told him, “Dear friend, we sometimes choose something which is not good for us. But God, The Loving Father, will choose that which is good and fitting for us. At first, it may be painful but, later, we will experience happiness and understand how God leads us towards good. So, make room for God in your life and give all your worries to Him. He will take care of you.”
After some moments of silence, he started to feel more confident and somewhat consoled. Then he started walking to the shop with me every evening and we would talk about our course and other things and then each one of us returned to his/her own apartment. He lived far away from me. Now he is married and has two kids. He had invited me to his wedding, but I couldn’t make it. I met him five years later. He came to the railway station with his family, and he talked about how my words had consoled him and had given him confidence about living life. He completely surrendered his life to God’s will.
Mercy Savariyaradimai, Oblate from India
Excerpt from an article, journal Sparks 2023-vol 18-no2
